Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
