If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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