Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
