i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
