R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize