if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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