Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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