what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
