Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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