For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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