It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
