Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
