Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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