how can u be prego again
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize