Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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