Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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