The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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