the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
