So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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