She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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