There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
