Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
only you would photoshop your dick
i used baking grease as lip gloss
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
