I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
