East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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