I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
sarcasm needs its own font
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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