She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I will pee on everything he values.
Can I color on your dick again?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
