Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
