it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
