I cannot find my penis.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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