Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize