There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
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Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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