My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she smelled like a LAN party
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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