that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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