There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
