Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
