it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i need an iv and a liver transplant
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You were trust falling into bushes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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