It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
