At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
