Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize