those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
