I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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