It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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