were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
All the doctor said was why
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
