If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
