i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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