And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
