so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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