yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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