But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
