check it out our google latitudes are spooning
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
