I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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