with your own penis?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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