oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
