I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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