Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
do nipples grow back?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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