Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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