So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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