I showed him my bush... on skype.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
