ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
