she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
