elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
