i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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