my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
