So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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