...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
