addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
