He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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