tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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