? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
